Being Thankful Thorns Have Roses
I'm feeling paralyzed this morning. My to do list is too long and my minutes too few. My floors are in desperate need of sweeping and mopping, there's clothes and shoes to go sort, laundry that never seems to end, and a sweet, sweet toddler gleefully adding three things to the floor for every one item I pick up. And all I really want to do is sit down at my craft desk and just mindlessly create whatever comes to me.
My first paycheck today since cutting back my hours is a little scary. I have no regrets but I struggle not to worry about making ends meet. Adding one more thing for Nate to add to his own endless worry list.
Stefanny Gretinzger is one of my new favorite singers. She's singing a song, Confident, that catches my attention, so I look up her lyrics. Hmm. Just what I need to hear right now.
You're always moving in the unseen
The breath You exhale sustaining me
Before I call, You know my need
You're always going before me
I'm confident Your faithfulness will see me through
My soul can rest, my righteousness is found in You
With every moment left, in every borrowed breath, let this be true
That all my heart, for all my life, belongs to You
Your laughter scatters my enemies
You give me joy for my mourning
You lift my head so I can see
All of heaven surrounding me
I'm confident Your faithfulness will see me through
My soul can rest, my righteousness is found in You
With every moment left, in every borrowed breath, let this be true
That all my heart, for all my life, belongs to You
I won't win this battle with the strength in my own hands
You're the mountain-mover and only You can
I won't build my life on sinking sand
You're my hope forever, the rock where I stand
I won't win this battle with the strength in my own hands
You're the mountain-mover and only You can
I won't build my life on sinking sand
You're my hope forever, the rock where I stand!
The rock where I stand!
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
I'm confident Your faithfulness will see me through
My soul can rest, my righteousness is found in You
With every moment left, in every borrowed breath, let this be true
That all my heart, for all my life, belongs to You
Songwriters: Steffany Gretzinger / Jeremy Riddle / Bobby Strand / Kathy Frizzell
Confident lyrics © Bethel Music Dba Bethel Music Publishing
Logan is down for a nap. I should be cleaning while I can, but instead I'm taking a moment to try to step out from under this weight on my shoulders that drags me down. Weight I know is probably not even mine to carry but feels chained to me.
Yesterday was such a good day. Celebrating the first day of summer with a fire & s'mores, getting the wading pool, bubbles, and other games out for the kids. Enjoying the brief reprieve from the storms and rain to enjoy the longest day of the year. The kind of day that leaves you going to bed feeling thankful that life can be so good.
I don't know how I can go to bed so content and wake up so overwhelmed. Is there such a thing as a joy hangover? I guess if I didn't have the emotional valleys I wouldn't be able to appreciate the peaks as much. I find some comfort in something a friend told me once. We're not meant to be endlessly blissful on this Earth, because this world is not our home, something I tend to easily forget.
Usually I don't like to post something this depressing...I usually write it and wait, knowing inevitably something will happen to make me realize everything has a purpose, including my melancholic moods. I joined an online 'tribe' of a few people called Vibrant Happy Women after Jen Riday found me on Instagram. I listened to her podcasts on my way to work, and then after listening to Maria Paz's story and feeling like she was speaking to my experience, decided to join this group.
Everywhere I go, in person and online, I feel like I'm meeting other women with similar stories. Feeling overwhelmed by our to do lists, or obligations to our families, jobs, friends that we do out of love and devotion but tend to leave us drained.
So instead of waiting until I can put on a happy face and showing that I have my stuff together and everything is peachy, I can hit publish, knowing we all have our low moments and it's not something I have to hide away.
So Dillon came down and asked me to make him popcorn with melted butter. He needs the calories so I happily oblige. I go upstairs to see the cat trying to pee in my newly planted lavender. Grr. I make his popcorn and unload the dishwasher as I wait. I'm going to give myself 30 minutes to art journal whatever I want, and then I will get to work with my iPhone of podcasts and music...
But first I read Jesus Calling devotional for this morning. Oy vey. On the brink of rebellion by indulging in self-pity and complaining, practically shaking my fist in His face. Instead give thanks, even for trials.
Psalm 116:16, "Truly I am your servant, Lord, I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains."
So instead of complaining that roses have thorns, I will choose to revel in its beauty as I praise the One who blesses me beyond what I deserve.