Future Dreams...

One of my favorite quotes is by Rumi: "Respond to every call that excites your spirit." I've unwittingly lived my life this way ever since I was young. I always knew I would go into the medical field. Whether it was because of my early exposure to doctors & nurses because of my hearing problems and multiple surgeries, including several at Seattle Children's Hospital, or simply because I was fascinated by human anatomy, I'm not sure. Becoming a nurse was fairly straightforward for me. But after realizing being an ER nurse wasn't worth losing this time with my family, I've been stuck in this barren no-man's land.

I had no idea what I was supposed to be working towards in my professional life. At first I thought I was meant to continue my nursing education and become an instructor, but over the last year, those doors have gently closed and I realized I haven't gone back to school because honestly, my spirit isn't that excited about the idea.

I loved creating art in middle school, using cattle markers (oil pastels) to paint a dolphin in space that my little sister now has framed in her room in Maine. I somehow ended up in Yearbook in high school and loved playing with Photoshop and creating layouts and designs. My diaries from middle school and high school are full of collages.

I never really embraced my passion for creating things until I found Pinterest and stumbled on Gabrielle Pollacco's website. I loved watching her videos as she created beautiful mixed media masterpieces and still remember walking into Michaels, knowing I needed gesso and other supplies and having no idea what gesso even was or how to pronounce it. But in today's world of YouTube and Google I quickly started to understand how all these art materials worked together and dabbled in my art journal. My first spreads are ugly as I experimented with the different mediums but looking back on them now, I love them.

Dillon was 3 at the time and learned along side of me. His handiwork is on many of my art journals. At first I was annoyed with him interrupting me and wanting to get into my supplies, but then realized I should take advantage of that time with him. He has his own set up next to me now and I love watching him create art. He reminds me to get out of my head and to let my spirit guide me.

Over the last few months I've realized how much my art charges me, and how passionate I am about it. I don't know how I'm supposed to go about it, but I want to explore as many avenues as I can, keep learning new techniques and ideas. I love having an idea in mind of what my project outcome will be, hitting a road block, and then somehow it goes into a completely new and better direction without me thinking about it.

I keep hearing messages through podcasts, books, etc, saying my dreams should be so great they scare me. After a lot of thought, I realized my dream would be to make enough money between nursing and my art that Nate could quit his job as a welder and pursue his passion: to have cows and horses and a little bit of hay on this land we bought for that purpose. If I wanted to get really crazy, I would love to be able to create art full-time while Nate and the boys are outside with the animals!