The Girl Who Saw Change Coming with the Blood Moon

Beaver Moon—longest partial lunar eclipse in our lifetime, signaling time to say good-bye to outgrown habits and make way for new and better things…. 11/18-11/19/21 https://fooshya.com/2021/11/19/beaver-moon-lunar-eclipse-2021-superb-pictures-of-the-longest-partial-moon-eclipse-in-580-years/

I set my alarm for 2am to take the dogs outside and to hopefully check out the eclipse. Amazingly, the overcast skies have cleared and I can see the moon—it’s tiny but visible. It makes me slightly uncomfortable. I’ve always hated good-byes, and uncomfortable with not knowing what’s ahead. I don’t know why, because life seems to get better than worse usually, even if it does get a little rough at times.

August 7th, 2020. I was living in my apartment that I loved, and had the best day with the boys. But in my heart I knew it was time to face the stack of credit card bills, a judgment for medical bills that had been served to me by the nicest process server (I didn’t realize when I left my job at the local hospital, they would look at the age of the account that they had been taking payments out of my paycheck and send it to collections), but the fault was all mine for refusing to deal with my bills for the past year.

I went through the credit card bills, the judgment, the bill for Dillon’s and my hearing aids, and with a sinking heart wrote out my budget. I made a decent paycheck as a nurse, but I also pay over $600/month in child support, health insurance for me and the boys, and taxes, and so I was bringing home about $1200 every other week, which isn’t bad at all. But $850/month in rent, gas and electric, my cell phone bill, car payment, insurance, and groceries, I didn’t have much left over. With all honesty, I was smoking almost a pack a day and drinking at the time, but there was no way I was going to let that go—seems so foolish to me now, but at the time it seemed too impossible. Now I wonder how in the world I was scraping by spending over $200/month on cigarettes and probably close to that on alcohol?? (I quit smoking last spring by the way—and don’t miss it one bit).

My credit card debt was $13,853 and my medical judgment was $4,836. In horror I realized these two debts were over $18,500. I hadn’t made payments on credit cards very regularly, sticking my head in the sand and willing everything to go away. Obviously my credit was in the toilet, and so much for the idea of buying a house. That feeling of despair and overwhelm is awful. I remember trying to put on a happy face for the boys, but inside my guts were churning. How in the hell was I going to