The Girl Who Was Loved by Angels

Guardian Angels 1999 3/4/22 published 1/6/23

I know I want to write a book to share the lessons I’ve learned, my experiences that others may share, a book to give hope and let you know that you’re not alone. I always felt so alone, and the pain that came with this was unnecessary. I carried my lessons in shame, letting them define me and weigh me down for the first half of my life. I will not repeat this for my second half.

Life is magical, and the divine interventions are so obvious when I reread my words. God was there, behind the scenes, even when I couldn’t feel Him. My soul knew the way, but I let my fears drown it out.

People came into my life, who I realize now acted as guardian angels. Instead of writing with a tone of despair, I will choose to write my experiences with gratitude to those who held my hand along the way, even if they sometimes played the part of demons too. There can be no light without darkness, and lessons learned from dancing with the darkness are never forgotten.

April 9, 1999 14 years old

I light 2 candles and some incense next to my bed. I am choosing to invite angels into my life. I choose Gabriel, an angel of hope, revelation, love, heart connections. I want to open myself to relationships with animals, people, and angels.

I invite Angels of Nature, concerned with forms of life. I feel I am being asked to contact one of these spirits, to connect once again with the primal force that courses through life. Be with a plant, an animal, or with the Earth itself. Give myself time to go out in the world. Sit with a tree, play with a pet, walk, take the opportunity to connect with the Earth. Listen…

April 20, 1999 14 years old

Last weekend I stayed with Mom while the boys went to Seneca Falls. Dad had said he would give some money to Mom for the return trip, but something happened and they got into a fight, and Dad wouldn’t give Mom the money.

Mom had to bounce a check or something, and she was furious with Dad. She was swearing and saying empty threats. I felt like crying, and I promised myself I wasn’t going to remember anything she was saying.

We pulled into the gas stop and Mom got out to pump the gas. While she was doing that I said my Matthew, Mark, Luke and John angel prayer over and over again. “Matthew, Mark, Luke and John…the bed be blessed that I lie on. Four angels to my head, four angels to my bed…once to watch, one to pray, and two to bear my soul away...” I began to feel better. Mom came back and got into the minivan. She put the key into the ignition and the radio came on. I could feel angels watching over me when out of the car speakers came the last wo lines of Sarah McLachlan’s song, “You’re in the arms of the angel…may you find some comfort here…”

Jenni ShattoComment